16 christian dating principles
There is a reason why I rarely read any ‘spiritual books’ aside from the Bible and classic commentaries on the Bible including the early Church fathers.
It is time for Christians to start talking about dating. Establishing principles for Christian dating will set men and women on a course towards Christ-centered marriages. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t a divine lottery where every person has one winning ticket. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.” Not a good idea. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. This requires discipline, restraint, and abstinence from activities that don’t promote holiness. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. ____________________ I hope this discussion continues. I pray parents, church leaders, friends, and family begin to spark conversations about God’s design for dating.
Spending time with someone of a different faith can cause you to make poor choices that you may regret later.
It can make living together difficult because your priorities will be different.
Some themes found throughout the Bible for couples to consider when dating include "Do not lie," "Honor your father and your mother" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." Your neighbor includes all people as told by Jesus in the parable found in Luke -36 about a the good Samaritan.
Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Now, please, please, please don’t be a freakish weirdo. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage?
Dating with a trajectory towards marriage doesn’t mean you only date one person ever. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. The ultimate purpose of marriage is sanctification (becoming like God). If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp.
One of the best ways to save your marriage is through Ranch of Hope. “The one” says you need to find the perfect person. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. You are asked to go from a mentality that says “End a relationship as soon as difficulty arises,” to one that says, “Don’t end the relationship regardless of the difficulty that arises.” That’s a tough switch to flip.
Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating will transform lives and shape eternities. The brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your spouse point both of you to the only perfect one, God. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target. 1.) Stop looking for “the one.” 2.) Date with a trajectory toward marriage. 4.) Have a list of values and don’t compromise them. I’m not against generally ‘wise’ principles and Christian concepts, but it seems like most self-called Christians like to invent their own stuff at the expensive of overtly heeding the vast wisdom that is already laid out for us in Scripture.