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That fight for attention is nonsensical because it upholds the system that devalues us as romantic partners, gives too much value to the people who date us, and causes us to cut friendships and other relationships that sustained us before romance. Race aside, no one’s only close friend or only source of support should be their significant other.You need other relationships to be a well-rounded individual, and placing your happiness in the hands of another twenty-something college student seems like a large risk, especially at Columbia.The majority of gossip, backstabbing, or fighting that I see happens over men who have managed to instill in two women some sense of infatuation.To lose a close friend over this, especially one of your own race and life experience when people like that are hard to come by on this predominantly white campus, is foolish.

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I have seen girls who have been friends since they arrived on this campus, who have sat in meetings together and talked with each other, and who previously I would have considered inseparable, separated by a man.To be a black woman on Columbia’s campus is to already be placing yourself in a precarious position.The burden of solidarity placed upon you is something forged out of the idea that because you are black and a woman, you must act in a supporting role for all of those around you.Sabina Jones is a sophomore at Columbia College majoring in English.

Her column Transatlantic Trade ran alternate Wednesdays.I want to close the imaginary Black Girl Burn Book forever and have true solidarity with the women who I see home within, but one person alone does not make a community.

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