Dating in a open marriage

06-Nov-2020 11:53

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We view our financial goals as something that we work towards as a couple, regardless of our individual incomes: paying off our mortgage quickly, saving for retirement, spending money on travel instead of stuff.

I’ve always made significantly less money than him, although in the past there hasn’t been such a dramatic discrepancy — previously, I earned about ,000 (£39,700).

The amount of money we spend on our other relationships has never been an issue, probably because neither of us spends all that much.

My husband and his FWB go out for dinner a couple of times a month and alternate who pays.

If one of us can’t make Saturday work, due to things like travel, commitments to our other partners, or family events, we’ll reschedule that week’s date, usually for Friday or Sunday evening.

My husband and his friend with benefits (FWB) aren’t obsessive planners like me and A., so they schedule their dates a few days ahead of time.

If he doesn’t have other plans, my husband will sometimes hang out at a coffee shop for a few hours so that I can get the house; my go-to is heading over to my very understanding sister’s place.

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Toward the end of each month, we sit down with our calendars (Google for A., an old school planner for me), and we schedule our dates for the upcoming month.Long-term, I’m trying to transition to more copywriting work to increase my freelancing income, as well as taking on editing work.My husband has been very supportive of my career change — he’d rather have me do something that I’m passionate about (even if I make much less money) than stay in a job that made me miserable.My boyfriend is on a tight budget (never-ending home renovations and supporting a partner in grad school), so we tend to do a lot of budget-friendly activities: going for walks around the lakes, watching movies in the park, baking cookies, wandering around the Minneapolis Institute of Art.

If one of us was uncomfortable with how much money the other was spending on another relationship, we would certainly bring it up.Polyamory, open marriage, ethical non-monogamy — based on some of the comments I got on my recent Money Diary, the words apparently conjure up soap opera-style scenes of drama and jealousy, plus lots of juicy speculation about what’s going on in the bedroom.

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