Dating someone in a different culture


28-Oct-2019 23:00

I never thought that the cultural background of a dating prospect would make much of a difference when it came to relationships.

However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).

So does this mean the only hope for a happy, committed relationship is to move to another country? As mentioned above, the observations summarized above are not really about where one is born, but rather a mentality that is influenced by societal and cultural values.

We must be aware of our own behavior in the dating game, because we are active participants in how we are treated.

A relationship is all about compromise and should never be one-sided. And then you’ll also need time for relaxing getaways to some foreign lands where it will just be the two of you.

Make sure both of your cultures are present in your day-to-day routines. It’s not easy being in a cross-cultural relationship and both of you have to do things that maybe you’re not 100% comfortable with.

Just like no one wants to constantly be compared to their partners ex, they don’t want to be compared to how people do things in your country. You were raised differently and each one is going to have a right way of doing things. By doing this you will be erasing a part of them in a way. And that’s two-fold if you both don’t fluently speak the same native language. You will only push your partner away if you don’t allow them to integrate their culture and traditions into your lives. One thing that you have in common is a love for one another.

Let your someone special express themselves and show you romance in a way you’ve never seen it before. Show interest in what they are doing and try to understand why the do things differently than you. Integrate parts of their culture into your routines. They need to see your country and meet your family. Patience is the golden keto to dating someone from a different culture.

American men will rush to get you in bed as quick as possible, while European men don’t appear to have the same rush (or desperation). European men don’t ‘date’ – in the formal way that Americans are used to.

The types of dates seen in movies – the formal ask, the fancy dinner and the entire dance that ensues simply doesn’t exist in the European mindset, in fact, the word “dating” isn’t even a part of their lexicon. Unlike American culture, where there’s almost a rite of passage which takes two people from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “dating” to “exclusive”, these labels just aren’t a focus or concern for European men. Rather, the mentality is, “I like you, I want to see you, and if it’s enjoyable, let’s keep seeing each other”.

In America, sexual education is not taught until one hits their teens, if they are taught at all. It’s no surprise that American men are left to their own devices, subconsciously learning about sex through porn and the media. The latest law passed in France where excessively skinny models need to prove their health is a testament to that.

But when you’re surrounded by American media, filled with Barbie dolls, waif skinny models and Baywatch breasts, the idea of what ‘beauty’ is becomes skewed. European men have a quiet confidence, a demeanor that doesn’t need to scream out loud to prove themselves. The dating culture involves trying out many different options at the same time.The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…



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