Internet dating and players dating site sick
I ended up going on one date with him, and then another.
For the second date, my bagel suggested a painting night (a social event that involves paintbrushes, canvases, acrylics and, usually, wine) since I’d told him how much I enjoy them.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t interested at all, messaging back only to say: “Sorry.
The wheelchair’s a deal-breaker for me.”His blunt reply stung, but the feeling was nothing new.
And you’re welcome to ask questions, should you have any.”Once I added that paragraph, I felt liberated, relieved that anyone I spoke to would have a clearer picture of me.
So, we spent our entire date sitting directly below the painters, eating dinner and making strained conversation with wine-fueled laughter and painting instruction in the background. Following that disaster, I promised my date I’d get his money back.
As soon as the company refunded our tickets, I never heard from him again.
But in the online dating world, my disability was my secret shame. I started gradually, making references to my disability throughout my profile, then adding photos in which my wheelchair is clearly visible. For instance, OKCupid asks users to list six things they can’t live without; one of mine is “the invention of the wheel.”Still, I found myself having to make sure that potential matches had actually picked up on the trail of clues I’d left.
I grew tired of feeling like I needed to deceive men into being interested because society instilled in me that my disability makes me undesirable.After dropping the “wheelchair bomb,” I’d have to brace myself for their reactions, which were always a mixed bag, often ranging from indifference to ghosting. One man that I connected with on Coffee Meets Bagel was incredibly apologetic when I first told him about my wheelchair, as though it was the most tragic thing he’d ever heard.