Who pays when dating
She says that because “it is unusual for women to initiate, and women are assumed to only initiate if they have strong feelings, rejection may be more consequential for them, whether emotionally or socially.” That feels true when I watch my normally assertive girlfriends fret about whether to send that first text to a guy they’d like to date.
If gendered norms remain, men stay in the position of pursuing and women in the role of rejecting.
Men are active in their romantic choices and women more passive.
For me at least, that is not the role I want to occupy, especially when it comes to online dating.
Back in 1973, social psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her team showed that men were most interested in a woman who was hard for others to get, but moderately easy for them to get a date with.When I wrote my book on modern dating, I noticed that people who followed felt connections and invested in prospects with vulnerability, even if they weren’t totally sure of the other person’s interest, typically had the best success.